Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is extremely difficult not to expect anything from other people. The more intimate relationship one is sharing with a person, the more expectations there are. Yet, having too many expectations from other people almost always leads to frustration and disappointment. Although it might be impossible for you to stop expecting anything from others, you can still teach yourself not to have at least a particular type of expectations.
Expectations of love and respect from other people when you do not love or respect yourself
Undeniably, everyone should develop kindness and respect for other people which is definitely crucial for building relationships. Unfortunately, it is not enough. The vital point here is that you have to develop love and respect for yourself in the first place if you want others to feel in this way about you.
Loving and respecting yourself is a necessary component for becoming happy. Needless to say, the happier you are, the happier you can make people around you since a happy person is actually his or her best version.
Expectations of being able to change a person
Expecting from other people being the ones we want them to be is a huge mistake in any relationship whether it is your spouse, partner, friend, co-worker or even a stranger.
When we expect strangers or people we do not know well to behave according to our standards, we almost always are risking to get frustrated. That is so because we have no idea about their lives, their thought and emotions, but it is so easy to criticise them for their behaviour.
People whom we know well, especially our relatives, partners and friends will be much happier with us if we just let them be themselves. They will feel this immense psychological comfort of being with someone who accepts them right in the way they actually are rather than trying to develop something different of them.
Of course, many people are using a different strategy. Instead of downward criticising, they are trying to make people change by their excessive care. Needless to say, such an approach leads to even more resentment and exasperation and, as a result, destroys the relationship.
Certainly, in some situations you yourself might suffer a lot because of the behaviour of your friends or partner. In such cases, you should decide, whether you are able to accept this behaviour or not and if it is really difficult for you to get along with such patterns, you should think about finishing the relationship and not waiting until the person will change.
Expectations of other people always agreeing with you
The same is working in an opposite direction. You are an individual person who has a right to be happy living your life in the way you wish it to be. Surely, your purpose on the Earth is not satisfying someone’s else requirements or expectations, that is why you shouldn’t let other people to destroy your dreams.
If you yourself feel good about the decisions you are making, then do not wait others to feel the same. Just be yourself and do what you believe to be right even if you feel shy or do not have enough courage. And, don’t forget that you shouldn’t feel envy of someone’s success. Try not to compare yourself to others at all and you will see how happier your life will become.
The same goes for expecting that everyone will like you. Do not even try to please everyone since no matter how kind and helpful person you are, there is always a chance of meeting someone who will still dislike you.
Providing you meet such people, there is no need to criticise them or trying to prove your own value. The best thing you can do is just ignoring them as much as possible and keep on moving.
Expectations of other people being able to read in your thoughts
How many times we are disappointed by people who fail to understand our thoughts or our needs! The next time you will be experiencing such a situation, don’t rush into conclusions and consider first whether you have given an opportunity to understand yourself to those people.
Actually, we not always communicate our ideas, thoughts, needs or emotions clearly or do not communicate them at all and still, we expect that others will understand us clearly. Do not even dream about that since no one can read in one’s thoughts.
Whether you are feeling bad about something but do not want to start an argument with another person or you want to ask somebody of something but feel too shy to do it, do not expect others to understand you perfectly without communication.
Actually, learning to socialise with people is an extremely crucial skill which will help you to avoid a feeling of dissatisfaction and even will save you from developing passive-aggressive behaviour.
Although for some people great communication skills come completely naturally, others might need to learn it on purpose. In any case, this will make your life more joyful and the relationship with others easier. Finally, be open and flexible with people, and any time you meet someone who gives you new emotions and feeling, no matter whether they are positive or negative, you should feel grateful for this lesson.